You'll Never Blue Ball in This Town Again: One Woman's Painfully Funny Quest to Give It Up

By Heather McDonald

Book Overview

New York Times bestselling author, comedian, and Chelsea Lately writer Heather McDonald's hilarious true story of finding herself in the predicament of being an unwilling virgin at the age of twenty-seven.

Can't a girl dress like a hooker, dance like a stripper, and kiss like a porn star and still be a nineteen-year-old virgin?

You'll Never Blue Ball in This Town Again is the laugh-out-loud story of an attractive Los Angeles woman who found herself in the predicament of being an unwilling virgin. As an actress, writer, and stand-up comedienne, Heather McDonald passed up ample opportunities to have her V-card revoked by handsome, rich, and sometimes even fabulously famous men, but she could not bring herself to do "it" until well after her friends had been deflowered.

As Chelsea Handler so lovingly puts it, "Thank God Heather waited twenty-seven years to lose her virginity or she wouldn't have any material for this book." Whether in a backseat, a community pool, or a sports stadium, with a frat boy, a doctor, or an A-list celebrity, Heather McDonald knew how to turn those boys blue. Unlike "putting out," blue balling might not have paid her rent or landed her free trips to Hawaii, but it did provide her with hilarious stories and adventures in her search for true love--and, ultimately, her very own happy ending. Now, Heather McDonald will never blue ball in this town again.

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 1439176280
• ISBN13: 9781439176283
• Release Date: June 2010
• Publisher: Atria Books
• Length: 272 Pages
• Weight: 0.61 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.8" x 5.5" x 8.3"

Customer Reviews

FUNNY!!!

Huge fan of Chelsea Lately, so had to get this one. And I am so glad I did. It is so funny! I was more than sure I did several spit-takes while reading it. The twist the book is based on and not one I've read much about, that's for sure. So, if you want a VERY funny read and want to be entertained, get this book. Also recommend, Take Your Shirt Off: A Novel of Hollywood.

Read it!

This book is a perfect summer read. It's totally entertaining and really funny. Heather tells the stories with her great sense of humor and definitely has one about herself and the pain she put some of those poor guys who thought they were going to get some action through. I definitely recommend it.

This book rocked my face off

I'm a busy mom and don't get a lot of time to read. So, when I do pick up a book, it has to be good and keep my attention or it falls to the wayside amidst football jockstraps, stinky tap shoes and naked Ken Dolls. Guess what? My kids were the ones that went to the wayside while I read this book. I could not put. it. down. Heather's writing makes you feel like she is right there with you, drinking a pina colada relating these stories. I sat there, nodding my head, laughing out loud and waving my kids off when they begged for dinner. Luckily I got through it quickly, so my kids aren't too malnourished. GO BUY THIS BOOK TODAY. Your eyeballs will thank you. Monique SurferWife

this book has been keeping up at night because i can not put it down!

this has to be one of the funniest books i have ever read. i am only half way through, but so in love with it, i had to write a review. i find myself laughing out loud regularly. heather tells a story with such wonderful, hilarious descriptions i feel like i am there, watching her sitting on jason bateman's lap. if you read one book this summer, it needs to be heather's!