Who Moved My Soap? : The CEO's Guide to Surviving in Prison

By Andy Borowitz

Book Overview

They threw the book at Madoff. Now here's the book he needs.

While many books are offered for the CEO who aims to survive the cutthroat competition of the corporate jungle, not a single one offers to help those same CEOs when the law catches up with them. That is, until now.

This book offers valuable advice for those executives who have cooked the books, and now find themselves paying the price. Borowitz covers all aspects of prison life, from exit strategies (prison-break tips) to ways of keeping the business acumen sharp (how to make the Warden your most valuable employee) to prison cell feng shui and even self-defense (how to use this book as a deadly weapon). Convicted corporate executives should look at this time spent in prison as an opportunity, rather than a disadvantage. New business contacts can be established, new management strategies tested-time can even be spent working on the golf game so it says sharp for ten, twenty, however many years.
Direct from Bernie Madoff's cellmate, Who Moved My Soap? The CEO's Guide to Surviving in Prison is loaded with helpful tips, including: Complete Corporate-Speak/Prison Slang Glossary How to earn $$$ making vanity license plates Trophy wives, and how to avoid becoming one How to avoid getting back-stabbed literally
Don't forget, Who Moved My Soap? will be both small enough to fit in the pocket of your prison uniform, but also thick enough to hollow out and hide cigarettes in

Who Moved My Soap? is a must read for any white collar criminal. CEOs headed to the Big House will now have something to read to help them pass the time. It's also a must read for those of us who were fleeced by them.

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0743251423
• ISBN13: 9780743251426
• Release Date: June 2003
• Publisher: Simon & Schuster
• Length: 96 Pages
• Weight: 0.24 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.3" x 5.3" x 8.3"

Customer Reviews

SLICK, HILAROUS CORPORATE SATIRE

Modern corporate world is a sty reeking of corporate scandals. This, despite a whole deluge of corporate "gurus" and biz books dispensing truckloads of advice on how to better run your company, manage your time, manage your employees, etc etc. Trust Andy Borowitz to rip the vacuity of almost 90% of such advisory tripe to shreds. He hammers home the drudgery of business cliches in an absolutely hilariously anti-establishment satire. It's an easy to read compilation, you could devour it in a couple of hours if you wish (and you mostly likely will). The title itself is a funny play on "Who moved my cheese", a monumentally boring bestseller from a few years ago about change management. As one of the reviews suggests, change is something a lot of disillusioned CEOs like Martha Stewart have to cope with in their newfound abodes. Pick up this gem for some pure, unadulterated, and occasionally even laught-out-loud humor. Pronto purchase material!

Smart, Sharp and Witty

This book manages to meld both insightful commentary on today's business world, entertainment world and social scene with some of the funniest lines I've ever read. The storyline, about a CEO from a huge conglomerate named Shamco (which seems to make a lot of products that do not work, but enables the CEO to live like a potentate anyway) had tears running down my face. I won't wreck the book for you - read it yourself (and maybe send one to Martha Stewart).

Perfect Beach Read

I first encountered Andy Borowitz's wicked satirical wit on NPR, and then more recently have been enjoying his brilliant one-liners on CNN. Then I got hooked on his Borowitz Report column after reading a glowing front page story about him in The Wall Street Journal. If you've never read Borowitz, Who Moved My Soap? is the perfect place to start. It's a hysterically funny take on the recent spate of corporate scandals, but it's more than that: it contains Borowitz's totally original, totally side-splitting riffs on pop culture, celebrities, politics, and even the Zagat guide and feng shui. The chapters are punchy and short, so it's the ideal funny book to read in little bits during a day at the beach. And it stays with you -- I read it days ago and I'm still quoting jokes to friends.One warning, though. While Who Moved My Soap? is the perfect beach read, if you read it on the beach you're bound to get strange looks from those around you as you find yourself laughing uncontrollably. That's what happened to me on the beach in Rhode Island, and people kept coming over to ask me what was so funny. The next day, I spotted four more people reading Who Moved My Soap? Mark my words, it's the book of the summer.

Laugh Til It Hurts

This book will give new meaning to such corporate phrases as "back-stabbing", "the 'Peter' principle" and "360 degree employee management". Borowitz, in his unique and humorous style, pinpoints the gaping flaws inherent in the 'Rock Star CEO' mentality that exist today. Borowitz really proves that the emporer has no clothes - and that becomes quite problematic during the prison phase of the CEO's life. The book is an excellent, refreshing and lighthearted look at where capitalism went astray. The ability to laugh at ourselves is essential and Borowitz provides and excellent vehicle to achieve those ends. A highly recommended read.

Guaranteed Big Laughs

Martha Stewart and Ken Lay won't like this book, but the rest of us will laugh out loud from page one all the way to the end. If you've lost your job, or just your pension plan thanks to crooked CEOs, this book is the best medicine. Who Moved My Soap is a masterpiece -- I put it up there with the best of David Sedaris, Steve Martin or Dave Barry. And for those of us who have very little left in their 401(k), it's hard to beat the price.