The Velveteen Principles for Women: Shatter the Myth of Perfection and Embrace All That You Really Are

By Toni Raiten-D'Antonio and Toni Raiten-D'Antonio LCSW

Book Overview

"What is Real?" asked the Rabbit one day. . . .

"Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. ". . . it doesn't happen to people who break easily or have sharp edges or who have to be carefully kept . . . once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."

The moral of The Velveteen Rabbit by Margery Williams, captured in the words of the wise old Skin Horse, inspired psychotherapist and professor Toni Raiten-D'Antonio's bestseller The Velveteen Principles. It also provides one of the cornerstone concepts--that individuality makes every woman uniquely valuable--for her much-awaited second book, The Velveteen Principles for Women.

Drawing from many sources--the stories of devoted readers, students, therapy clients, and even her own life--the author offers a provocative, inspiring, and practical guide for women who want to be Real. With wit, wisdom, and insight, she teaches readers how they can:
Identify the toxic messages in modern society Resist being ruled by OPO (Other People's Opinions) Break the powerful should/shame cycle Avoid the POW (Perfect Object Woman) trap Custom-design a Real life and become truly happy Build loving relationships
All the tools for creating a Real life are here in The Velveteen Principles for Women. Keen observations shine light on the forces that promote generic concepts of beauty and happiness. Stories from the lives of Real women offer inspiration. Emotionally powerful exercises help you find your Real values and passions. And the Principles--empathy, generosity, courage, ethics and more--are signposts leading to love and fulfillment.

The Velveteen Principles for Women is a motivational guidebook for those who want to identify the sources of their unhappiness and become genuinely Real themselves. It is essential reading for women who want to free themselves from self-doubt, silence their inner critics, and live as the Real, unique, valuable women they are meant to be.

Sales Points
The Velveteen Principles, Toni Raiten-D'Antonio's first book, sold over 70,000 copies The Velveteen Principles had successful tie-ins including The Velveteen Collection, The Velveteen Principles Gift Set, and The Velveteen Rabbit Gift Set

• Format: Hardcover
• Language: English
• ISBN: 075730561X
• ISBN13: 9780757305610
• Release Date: May 2007
• Publisher: Health Communications
• Length: 220 Pages
• Weight: 1.01 lbs.
• Dimensions: 1.2" x 5.9" x 7.9"

Customer Reviews

A Great guide or reminder....where ever you are.

I received "The Velveteen Rabbit" as a gift when graduating @ the undergraduate level. Many years later as a practitioner & a faculty member, I used it to remind my students about"being real". Then, a former student sent me "The Velveteen Principles". I've used it at the graduate and undergraduate levels as a means to look at what really is important, among many other issues. One graduate student came back with "The Velveteen Principles for Women" and kept the "principles" in mind while working with groups of adolescence young women. The author, Toni Raiten-D'Antoni,was gracious and supportive when students contacted her about her book. I believe this book is a book for beginnings, but is also important for many other times in our lives. Simple does not only mean beginnings. Simple is something we seem to forget time after time. My hat is off to Toni Raiten-D'Antoni.

The Velveteen Principles for Women

This was a gift for a special friend. She read a preview on it and wanted to read more on it. She said she enjoyed the book. She said sometimes we just have to be REAL!

Excellent, Practical Real Life Tools You Can Use......

An excellent book you will want to keep out and re-read. Applicable real-life tools you can use.

Absolutely Essential!

From the very first chapter, I was so glad to have picked up a copy of The Velveteen Principles for Women. This is an important book for women of all ages and all walks of life -- it is written in a way that can surely speak to the questions and confusion that each of us experience. Toni Raiten-D'Antonio's writing is simple to understand and the book is filled with humor and insight into many common problems. I have found so much comfort in The Velveteen Principles for Women, and learned a great deal from the unique strategies and new ways to rethink trouble spots. While some other "self-help" books seem preachy and touchy-feely, this one is terrifically smart and extremely practical. The Velveteen Principles is a must-read! I cannot recommend it more highly.

Keeping it Real

I picked up this book by chance at BEA, and discovered it really defied all my expectations. This book does not give you permission to lower your standards or fail to meet your goals--rather, it encourages you to make your OWN standards and make sure the goals you're aiming for are truly YOURS. It allows women to take some time out of their daily care-giving routines to nurture themselves. I find myself returning to this book often and recognizing behavior and thought patterns that severely limit my joy: "I should lose weight; these extra pounds are so embarrassing. My skin should be tanned and free of blemishes; I feel hideous and shouldn't go outside. I shouldn't make any demands or act emotional in front of my boyfriend, or he won't want me." Should, should, should. NOT the Real me! The super-ego can be a wonderful thing; it helps regulate our own selfish desires so we can get along smoothly in society. But sometimes, in the quest for generic perfection (which doesn't really exist) we girls forget to keep it real, and our inner critic keeps insisting we have to twist ourselves into a pretzel because our Real, imperfect selves aren't worthy of love. This book shows us how to stop worrying about other peoples' expectations, and to redefine our own. I'm a happier person for reading this book, and very grateful to Raiten-D'Antonio for putting down on paper what must be racing through millions of women's minds. Velveteen Principles for Women is written in a tone so supportive, plain, and full of common sense, that upon reading it, it's almost impossible to deny that perfection is a myth, and Reality can be extremely satisfying. I recommend this book to anyone, especially to men who wish to better understand a woman's experience. I'll be sending copies to all my close friends and female relatives.