The Man I Might Become: Gay Men Write About Their Fathers

By Bruce Shenitz

Book Overview

Few men, straight or gay, find the father-son relationship easy, which explains why men's groups overflow with stories of fathers who ignored, brutalized, or otherwise wounded their sons. But gay men find the subject particularly problematic: When they come out to their families, they enter emotional territory their straight counterparts often avoid their entire lives. For many fathers and sons, the deepest feelings often remain unexpressed; if a son is gay, the very act of coming out virtually ensures that silence will be broken. Now, the pieces in The Man I Might Becomeby some of our finest writers, as well as notable newcomersdepict worlds of experience that are sometimes painful, sometimes funny, and always engaging. Including contributions by Andrew Solomon, Jesse Green, Dan Savage, Stephen McCauley, Joseph Hansen, Bernard Cooper, Mark Doty, James Saslow, Jaime Manrique, and many others, this anthology will take its place as essential reading for every gay man coming to terms with his past, his family, and his own future as a man."

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 1569245649
• ISBN13: 9781569245644
• Release Date: November 2002
• Publisher: Da Capo Press
• Length: 320 Pages
• Weight: 1.04 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.9" x 6.2" x 8.9"

Customer Reviews

A Landmark Collection

"The Man I Might Become" is a landmark collection that shows a welcome maturation of the gay community - an acknowledgement that to understand and accept the self, we must understand and forgive others. And for many gay men, there is no figure more "other" than one's own father. Yet, as the title suggests, coming to terms with one's father is also a way to truly see oneself. The best essays in the book (notably those of Joseph Hansen and Bernard Cooper) are superbly written evocations of the knot of father-son love, scary and deep with feeling.

Add this to your library

I'm not a fan of compilations since they tend to be uneven and often predictable but this one is an exception to the rule. It is by turns affirming and profoundly sad. The themes of conflict and acceptance, shame and forgiveness have rarely been touched upon in such a sensitive way. I found it terribly affecting and emotionally honest without it being sentimental. The sort of confessional, self-revelatory writing sometimes runs the risk of sounding preachy or self-rightous; this book succeeds precisely because it does neither. I'd recommend it to parents, gay or straight, as well as to their children.

Very cool

This book book is great. Over the holidays I had a chance to read it (some of it twice). I have to say i didn't expect it to be such a captivating read. As it turned out it was the kind of thing where you cant just read one story - you have to get the next one in and then the next - staying up way past bedtime!! It was fun - in places dark, in other very funny. I am always amazed at how many different points of view there are on the topic of parents. It is amazing what some parents are capable of. It was fascinating to see how people had come to terms with their lot in life and managed to rise above, forgive, and so on. I also think it is a treasure in the sense that things are changing quickly and that in 20 years, folks might write quite differently. A must for every library. Enjoy!

The Mysteries of Fathers and Sons

This is a great collection of true stories written by gay men about their relationship with their fathers. Some are mundane, some are shocking, some are tender and some are thought-provoking. It would be great to see a follow-up volume written by not-so-famous gay men, just to see what would result. I suspect the same kind of wisdom, love and heartache would be present. Required reading for all fathers and all gay men.

A MUST read

A must read for ANY parent, gay or straight children, boys or girls. This book gave me great insight on a child's devotion and unequivocal love of their parents, both mother and father. Telling stories of how the words and actions of parents can impact a child.