The Kindness of Children

By Vivian Gussin Paley

Book Overview

Visiting a London nursery school, Vivian Paley observes the schoolchildren's reception of another visitor, a handicapped boy named Teddy, who is strapped into a wheelchair, wearing a helmet, and barely able to speak. A predicament arises, and the children's response--simple and immediate--offers Paley the purest evidence of kindness she has ever seen. In subsequent encounters, "the Teddy story" draws forth other tales of impulsive goodness from Paley's listeners. Just so, it resonates through this book as one story leads to another--taking surprising turns, intersecting with the narrative unfolding before us, and illuminating the moral meanings that children may be learning to create among themselves. Paley's journey takes us into the different worlds of urban London, Chicago, Oakland, and New York City, and to a close-knit small town in Michigan's Upper Peninsula. Her own story connects those of children from nursery school to high school, and circles back to her elderly mother, whose experiences as a frightened immigrant girl, helped through a strange school and a new language by another child, reappear in the story of a young Mexican American girl. Thus the book quietly brings together the moral life of the very young and the very old. With her characteristic unpretentious charm, Paley lets her listeners and storytellers take us down unexpected paths, where the meeting of story and real life make us wonder: Are children wiser about the nature of kindness than we think they are?

• Format: Hardcover
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0674503589
• ISBN13: 9780674503588
• Release Date: April 1999
• Publisher: Harvard University Press
• Length: 129 Pages
• Weight: 0.65 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.6" x 5.4" x 7.8"

Customer Reviews

Sweet book, poignant stories about children...

I don't know what I expected from this book. I thought it would be a series of stories about children being kind. It actually ended up as a free-flowing continuous stream-of-consciousness tale on the part of the author. It was partly on the children, and partly on the reaction of the author and other teachers towards the small kindnesses that children give to one another in diverse situations. Even though Paley tells us about the interesting story-telling learning which she instigates, the story-telling is less important to the book then the kindnesses of the children. The story-telling is the means by which the kindnesses continue, a means to acknowledge that kindness has occurred, and that children are responsible for solitary acts that can have ripple-like effects.What I find incredibly interesting and wish that Paley had dealt with is that this behavior of small children prior to the fourth grade seems to be 'taught' out of children, by the adults in their lives. I may be wrong about this, but the national problems with bullying seem to occur right after third grade (which most educators and parents know is a major transitional point). Where is it that we are teaching our children not to be kind to others?This book is sweet and extremely interesting. Paley brings up the possibility of an intelligence based not on intellect, but on an inner sense of being able to 'see' when another person is hurting. I would have liked more information...this book raises more questions then it provides the solutions for....

Heartwarming

This is the first book by Paley I have read, and now I'm hooked! I am touched by her sensitivity and her openness to the wonder of the world of children. I felt that I was right there with her at the "storytelling table." An added bonus was her valuable references to Jewish storytelling traditions and her many biblical references. Anyone who works with children, especially "at-risk" children, would benefit from this book. An intimate and expressive work.

Disputes the Conventional Wisdom

This book disputes the conventional wisdom "children can be so cruel" by focusing on the fact that children ALSO can be kind. Paley knows full well that children are not perfect -- she writes brilliantly about rejection in "You Can't Say You Can't Play" and addresses these issues in others of her books as well. This is an important book BECAUSE it is so commonplace to hear "children can be cruel" as if that is all that they can be.That said, this is NOT Paley's best book. Having retired from teaching, she no longer has the day to day experience of the classroom to write about. I find those books richer.

Kindergarteners ARE kinder

As a daycare teacher, I have to respectfully disagree with the readers who claim Paley lives in a dream world. In my experience working with 2 to 6 year olds, ALL children are extremely kind and good! In fact, I am constantly blown away by how inherently good, kind and innocent they are. (And I wonder what on earth happens to us to make us change as we get older!) Yes, there are always fights, squabbles, cruel words, etc., in any daycare center or kindergarten, but these are a tiny, tiny portion of any day. Paley is a wonderful writer and she tells the truth!

For those who already love Paley...

While I understand how others could see this book as "saccharine, I cannot believe that these people really a) know Paley's body of work, or b) work with children. As a school librarian who has done most of my work with pre-K and K, as an avid reader of Paley's books, and as someone who DID suffer from the cruelty of other kids in my own childhood, I must say that I loved this book and found it touching and true. She does not ignore the bad in the world, and it is understandable that the book would be more focused on her own life, since she recently retired after decades of teaching. What Paley has witnessed, "the kindness of children," is a real thing. I feel sorry for those who cannot see this side of kids, and who think they are inherently UNkind. As always, Paley's work inspires me to try new things in my teaching and to look seriously at the small yet important interactions between children. Different from her other work, yes, but still wonderful.