The Epidemic: The Rot of American Culture, Absentee and Permissive Parenting, and the Resultant Plague of Joyless, Selfish Children

By Robert Shaw

Book Overview

From an esteemed child psychiatrist: a bold, fresh, and controversial look at the faddish child-rearing practices that have created a nation of children who are depressed, alienated, often amoral, and all too often violent. The shock of the Columbine shootings and other school violence has generated a national debate, and there's a dawning realization that something incomprehensible is happening: our privileged, pampered children are turning into monsters at an alarming rate.

With years of study and first-hand experience, Dr. Robert Shaw exposes the roots of what he calls The Epidemic: the violence and the more subtle behaviour problems that are jeopardizing a generation. In this eye-opening book, Dr. Shaw explains that the "advanced" parenting methods experts have promoted for the last thirty years have helped to create a nation of children who are detached loners, unable to form meaningful relationships. From infancy through the teen years, Dr. Shaw provides a map back to sanity that tracks specific misguided parenting techniques and shows parents how to get and keep their children on track and create the environment necessary for a healthy psychological future.

Some of the important ground Dr. Shaw covers includes: The myths and realities of bonding and attachmentHow to recognize when day care is working - and when it isn'tLandmarks to look for in your children's moral and ethical developmentSelf-centeredness versus self-esteemKeeping the media from mugging your childWhat can be done with a child who is out of control

Dr. Shaw challenges us to confront a very real problem, then helps us take steps forward using common sense and humanity. The Epidemic calls us to become better parents--and feel better about the choices we make for our children.

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 006001184X
• ISBN13: 9780060011840
• Release Date: September 2004
• Publisher: Harper Perennial
• Length: 257 Pages
• Weight: 1.05 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.6" x 6.0" x 9.0"

Customer Reviews

This is well worth the money.

I saw Robert Shaw on CNN a few months ago touting this book. Immediately, I knew I wanted to read it. I have friends that make me feel guilty because my children are well behaved and theirs aren't. This book helped me to validate for myself that my sometimes "harsh" or "strict" ways is in fact training them and providing them with "gifts" they can use over and over again during their lifetime. It is a terrific book for parents who need that encouragement that they are doing the right thing for their children, despite the societal pulls that gnaw at you and your family.

Thank you for this book!

It's about time that someone finally wrote about how parents aren't "parents" anymore - they are so busy working, dating, buying they don't have time for their kids anymore and so, rather than be parents, they try to be their kids' friend instead. This doesn't work and the kids are really suffering for it. They don't know the meaning of the word "no"; have no tolerance for frustration, can't see others' points of view, and as Dr. Shaw says, they have no empathy. Just this week in People magazine are stories about how teen hazing is getting out of control - these kids can't even see what they're doing. Please get this book for every parent you know, and if you are a parent yourself, please buy it and read it now. We as a society need to hear this call to action and do something now.

BUY IT AND SHARE IT WITH EVERYONE

Buy this book even if you have to save money to do so. The words were like music to my ears. The message is strong and clear but only if we take the responsibility to do something about today's attitudes of today's kids and us - the parents. Back talking, poor judgement, sassy, loud mouth kids who act just like their parents, are making it cool to have an "attitude" that is ruining our country and our complete souls. PLEASE do yourself a favor and buy it and give it away to as many people as possible. One other book that helps parents realize that chores and responsibilties will surely save one's sanity in family life is Mommy-CEO, by Jodie Lynn. Mrs. Lynn is a parenting/family columnist and shares similar ideas - and a few different topics - when it comes to unscheduling and undoing the "me" syndrome. Buy them both and get smart while getting a handle on your family for everyone's future. Wow - this is great! Thank God for these authors!

Well it's about time

During the past 10 years, I've had countless encounters with completely uncontrolled, screaming, demanding children on a weekly - if not daily - basis. This is particularly strange since I am neither a parent, nanny or daycare provider. I have seen downright frightening tantrums everywhere I venture in public, from the grocery store to expensive restaurants to my office.These encounters became so common that I began to notice children who were well behaved and polite as the exception; I began to congratulate parents with children who said something as basic as "hello" or "thank you," and felt tempted to gush if a 10-year-old held a door open for me.All the while, it was the children for whom I felt most sorry - who were often clearly tired, had rarely if ever heard the word "no" in their brief lives, who cursed and swore at their parents. I could not fathom how on earth they were supposed to go about becoming happy, functional, satisfied adults.Reading this book was such a relief to me, to know that my observations had been shared with others and, finally, a doctor! It was so refreshing to read a book that questions the completely permissive parenting I've witnessed so many times, and that focuses on the effects of this on the children who cannot know, at such young ages, to ask for discipline, for structure, for parents they can respect. Parents I know - and here I mean those who have disciplined and punished their children as necessary and often been frowned upon for it - have found this book reinforcing. They've known, deep down, that they were doing a good job - the fact that their children are well behaved and polite and friendly is a testament to this. However, they've found it difficult not to question their methods when other parents glare at them in the grocery line for refusing to cave to demands for gum, candy and toys.Despite the somewhat startling title of this book, it is an honest one, and this book is just that: honest, yet hopeful for the changes and results that can be brought about by parents doing their jobs. It doesn't take a shrink or medication to raise a happy, healthy, balanced and respectful child.

A must-read for all parents and parents-to-be

Robert Shaw, M.D. has finally put into words what we've all been thinking - that many of today's children are out of control, spoiled, unhappy, mannerless brats whose parents stand by helplessly as their kids throw tantrums and misbehave. In this thought-provoking book, Dr. Shaw shows us what is going wrong and why. But all is not despair, as Dr. Shaw also gives us the roadmap to put our kids back on track to becoming loving, relatable and enjoyable children. This is a must-read for all parents, grandparents, friends and relatives - and for parents-to-be who are full of questions about how to raise children in today's difficult world. Kudos to Dr. Shaw for raising difficult issues in today's overly permissive world.