Stop Dressing Your Six-Year-Old Like a Skank: And Other Words of Delicate Southern Wisdom

By Celia Rivenbark

Book Overview

Celia Rivenbark's essays about life in today's South are like caramel popcorn---sweet, salty, and utterly irresistible Celia Rivenbark is a master at summing up the South in all its glorious excesses and contradictions. In this collection of screamingly funny essays, you'll discover: * How to get your kid into a character breakfast at Disneyworld (or run the risk of eating chicken out of a bucket with Sneezy)* Secrets of Celebrity Moms (don't hate them because they're beautiful when there are so many other reasons to hate them)* EBay addiction and why "It ain't worth having if it ain't on eBay" (Whoa Is that Willie Nelson's face in your grits?)* Why today's children's clothes make six-year-olds look like Vegas showgirls with an abundance of anger issues* And so much more Rivenbark is an intrepid explorer and acid commentator on the land south of the Mason-Dixon line.

• Format: Hardcover
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0312339933
• ISBN13: 9780312339937
• Release Date: September 2006
• Publisher: St. Martin's Press
• Length: 262 Pages
• Weight: 1.05 lbs.
• Dimensions: 1.0" x 5.9" x 8.4"

Customer Reviews

An easy and fun read

I bought this book on a whim after just the title made me shake my head and smile. This is a great book to pick up and read when you don't have alot of time but you need a good pick me up.

hilarious!

This was one one of the best honestly southern humor books I've ever read. As a 30-year transplant from the world of a military dependent to a southern homeowner/homemaker, I recognized the funny truths and earthy wisdom in everything she said. One doesn't have to be or know a southern woman in order to fully appreciate how delicious this books is, but if you are one of the unfortunate few who don't hold claim to either status, this book will initiate you with grace and laugh out loud good will.

So funny you will laugh out loud

Rarely do books make me chuckle out loud. If you live in the south, or appreciate the differences that makes southern culture unique, you will enjoy this book. Celia Rivenbark divides the book into chapters which discusses the trials and tribulations of life. She has a humorous outlook on life. The book starts out nicely with describing a trip to Disneyland, and what a bad parent you are if you do not take your child there, buckling under the pressure of taking your child there, and the "fun" that will only happen under the pressure of having fun. Note: Disneyland isn't always fun for everyone. I love her look on parenting, and the shock and horror of when your child must go from toddler clothes to little girl clothes. As the style of fashion goes from safe designs to where you are having to dress your six year old going on seventeen. It is a shock to the system when you are trying to find clothes that do not make your child look like a street walker. In addition to Disneyland, dressing a six year old girl, she writes about taking a school class to the zoo, the rigors of volunteering for a Halloween festival, and volunteer opportunities that your six year old signed you up for. This book is extremely enjoyable, and personally I would love to sit down with Celia Rivenbark and have coffee with her. Her book is a delightful look on living in the south, and how one navigates parenthood. I highly recommend this book to those who are wanting to seek out an amusing look into what it is like being a parent in the south.

I laughed until I cried...

I picked up this book based solely on its title, and as a Disney-phile, I was hooked by the first paragraph as I saw how Celia Rivenbark minces no words as she "tells it like it is" about so many things in life. She's not afraid to address the topics that my girlfriends and I sit around and talk about (Krispy Kreme donuts celebrity craziness, and inappropriate clothing selections for the younger set), and she's not afraid to address the ones we don't talk about (like what happens when you're sick at your in-laws). This book is a quick read, 32 separate chapters that entertain you and, in a weird way, make you think.

Southern Mama Hits a Home Run

Once again Celia Rivenbark has made us laugh out loud. I love the 3rd book by the funniest blond in the South. I will be sure to buy several copies for gifts, and hope to make it to one of your signings. Thank you for sharing your Southern wisdom!