Stepmotherhood: How to Survive Without Feeling Frustrated, Left Out, or Wicked

By Cherie Burns

Book Overview

If you're one of the more than 15 million stepmothers in the country, you know the particular trials--and joys--of stepfamily dynamics today. You wonder if you're doing the right thing and, as a stepmother, many of your specific questions are unique. In this second edition of Stepmotherhood: How to Survive Without Feeling Frustrated, Left Out, or Wicked , journalist and stepmother Cherie Burns brings together countless insights and sound advice, based on the latest research and interviews with experts in the field (including dozens of other stepmoms), to answer questions such as: - How do you manage discipline when parents and stepparents disagree? - How can you help stepsiblings get along? - How do you handle birthdays, holidays, and weddings? - What's the best way to get along with your stepchild's mother? - When should you seek a therapist's help? Burns's wise and empathetic suggestions go beyond struggle, stigma, and compromise, showing how sensitive, informed stepmothers can take charge--and pride--in their role, becoming more effective and fulfilled.

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0609807447
• ISBN13: 9780609807446
• Release Date: September 2001
• Publisher: Harmony/Rodale/Convergent
• Length: 272 Pages
• Weight: 0.49 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.6" x 5.2" x 8.0"

Customer Reviews

Not really my situation.

I can see how it could help others, but I couldn't find my situation in here. I don't have a problem with loving my stepdaughter, I think she's great in every way. There's nothing I can find that talks about how to deal with the bio mom instructing the child to wet the bed or behave in other strange ways to illicit negative reactions from me. I can't seem to find a whole lot about it, anywhere actually. :( In the meantime I wear a recorder to capture the odd instructions and lies being fed to her. That's about it. Good luck to all who find themselves dealing with weirdos.

A must read for all stepmoms!

I can't begin to put into words how inspiring and wonderful this book is. I so wish I had read it BEFORE we got married. I could have saved myself a whole lot of frustration, tears and resentment. There still are those days when the stress level and anxiety are off the charts, but I feel I'm handling the situations better. I learned to pick my battles. I will survive!

A good read

Stepmotherhood is hard, scary and unrewarding sometimes. Burn's honest portrayal of what it is to be a stepmother, without the rose colored glasses, may be scary, but it is honest. This book made the bad seem less so and made me appreciate the good that I have in my stepfamily. Her wise words, honest situations and the real-life examples are the reality that any woman going into life as a stepmother needs to see.

What a wonderful book!

I felt very normal after reading this book and have loaned it to a coworker who is also a stepmother. It was wonderful to know that the things that I think and don't say out loud are normal stepmother feelings (like regarding the ex - "How could such a sweet man have been married to someone so horrible?"). Having two stepsons and no children of my own, it was good to see that different family situations were addressed. Most books I have read assume that you have kids, he has kids, and you have kids together - which is not always the case. I would recommend this book to any new or current stepmother!

I am normal!

I read this 'self-help' book as something of a last resort. I am a stepmother of two young boys on an every other weekend basis and have been finding it unbelievably hard. The most helpful thing about this book is that it really is down to earth and honest - and refreshingly un-p.c. It explained a lot of the feelings I have been experiencing over the last year or so and by making me realise that I am not alone, and that my feelings, however negative or ugly, are 'normal' in that they are experienced by lots and lots of other women in my position, helped me immeasurably. A previous reviewer commented that it was too negative, but I think that it depends what stage you are at and how hard you are finding everything. I read another book straight afterwards which, while also helpful, was too upbeat for me, had too much emphasis on the children and on how I should be behaving, which only adds to the sense of guilt and failure that I have. 'Stepmotherhood' really uplifted me and made me feel a lot better about myself - now perhaps I can build on that and be ready for the do-gooders in a little while. I have persuaded my partner to read it too! Thankyou Cherie!

Very straight-forward and down-to-earth!!!!

This book draws a true picture of what being a stepmother is really all about. No false hope is involved. I believe this book has given me a base to start with in my new venture as a stepmother. I now realize you don't have to love your stepchild to be a wonderful stepmother.