Not Tonight, Honey: Wait 'Til I'm a Size 6

By Susan Reinhardt

Book Overview

Susan Reinhardt takes the naked, honest truth and sets it on fire in a blaze of laughter. Boldly, brazenly, and hilariously, she says what only the brave dare to think. --Laurie Notaro Like an edgier, naughtier, southern-bred Erma Bombeck, award-winning columnist Susan Reinhardt has made diehard fans of fellow writers and newspaper readers across the country with her wickedly skewed reports from the trenches of American family life. In this collection of never-before-published essays and stories, she takes her uncensored trademark wit just a little further than ever before--with hilarious and poignant results. From telling off a too-perfect sorority sister twenty years later to going public with her "grumpy vagina"; from facing down those who would judge her in a mall ladies' room to eulogizing her beloved smokin' granny, Reinhardt cuts straight to the heart of the sublime, the ridiculous--and the saggy--realities of being a working wife, mother, and certified slave to a culture that worships women who sport thighs the size of her upper arms. "Susan Reinhardt takes the naked, honest truth and sets it on fire in a blaze of laughter. Boldly, brazenly, and hilariously, she says what only the brave dare to think." --Laurie Notaro "Surgical patients should forgo reading this book until all sutures are completely healed. Susan Reinhardt is a riot "--Jill Conner Browne "Funny, wise, and warm. . .from sidesplitting to achingly tender." --Celia Riverbank "Hilarious, captivating. . .no one is more accomplished at the fine Southern art of storytelling than Susan Reinhardt."--Ronda Rich Susan Reinhardt is a syndicated columnist and feature writer whose work has appeared all over the world in major newspapers such as the "Washington Post, London Daily Mirror, Newsday, " and other Tribune Media and Gannett publications. Reinhardt has won dozens of awards for her writing, including several Best of Gannett honors and a Pulitzer nomination. A long-time volunteer fundraiser for Hospice, the United Way, the American Lymphoma and Leukemia society, the PTO and other worthwhile and not so worthwhile causes, Reinhardt is also a proud member of the Not Quite Write Book Club, a group of ten women who drink wine and pretend to act literary. A true Daughter of the South, Susan Reinhardt was born in South Carolina, was raised in Georgia and currently makes her home in Asheville, North Carolina, the jewel city of the Blue Ridge Mountains. She has two adorable children and still calls her mama every night.

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0758211244
• ISBN13: 9780758211248
• Release Date: May 2005
• Publisher: Kensington Publishing Corporation
• Length: 224 Pages
• Weight: 0.60 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.8" x 5.5" x 8.3"

Customer Reviews

Hilarious!

I absolutely love this book! Relatable situations that truly made me laugh out loud!

Original style of humor

This book has a very different style of humor delivered from this Southern Belle in Dixie. She opens her life and her heart to the reader in a compelling way like no other. Laugh, cry, the reader will experience it all. Reinhardt has a gift of making the reader feel part of the stories she tells. I would highly recommend her work to anyone.

Knock-down, Knee-slappin, Southern Humor

After reading Mrs. Reinhardt's book, and finally recovering from the fits of laughter said book induced, I've come to the conclusion that anybody who could read this book and not chuckle (or better yet roll around on the carpet roaring with laughter) is either devoid of a sense of humor, dead, or worse yet, probably a yankee...or perhaps they may live somewhere above the polar ice cap where the nights last for six months and life is about as cheery as a root canal. The author has the rare ability to find and point out for the rest of us the hilarious side of everyday existence. The old adage goes "truth is stranger than fiction", and it sure is a helluva lot funnier! Personally I admire any writer who can turn a phrase well enough to point out the humor in the everyday mating rituals of the suburban housewife, or who can forge adjectives together to paint a picture of the ordinary, run-of-the-mill, middle aged hubby lounging on the sofa in his underwear as the funniest thing since Gerald Ford fell off of Air Force One (or since George W. fell off of his bicycle!) Hell, I read Reinhardt's story "The Grumpy Vagina" and found it funny, and I'm a man for Godsakes! Seriously, I would highly recommend Reinhardt's book to any reader who can appreciate a good laugh at life (and for those who sort of scratch their heads and denounce her writing as just stories about somebody's life and wonder who would want to read such stuff, I'll be all snobbish for a moment, and say, they call that "observational humor" ladies and gentlemen). In short, if you think the feminine side of David Sedaris or Lewis Grizzard is worth exploring, go pick up this book and have a laugh.

A Laugh-Out-Loud Page Turner! I wish it would never end!

When you find yourself thinking about a story, or characters in a story of a book you just read, you know you've stumbled onto something extraordinary. Susan Reinhardt's brand of humor, compassion, story-telling, and flat-out relate-ability is a gift in itself. Each chapter gives an insight into our OWN daily lives; the good, the sad, and the funny. Reinhardt is cosmopolitan, well-educated, AND southern at the same time, giving southern women a deservedly better reputation that they have gotten in the past. I would recommend this book to anyone who has loved, lost, and celebrated the big and small joys of life.