Mean Girls, Meaner Women: Understanding Why Women Backstab, Betray, and Trash-Talk Each Other and How to Heal

By Erika Holiday, Joan Rosenberg, Joan I. Rosenberg, et al.

Why can so many women form wonderfully close connections with each other while some intentionally hurt other women? Why are girls so mean to other girls? What motivates them to betray, backstab, trash-talk, and humiliate one another? Why does this same hurtful behavior continue between women well into adulthood? What can women do to have closer and more authentic connections with one another? Mean Girls, Meaner Women, written by Dr. Erika Holiday and Dr. Joan I. Rosenberg, two well-known psychologists long involved in women's issues, provide answers about this baffling behavior. They take a look at hurtful behavior between women from the perspective of both the target and the victim. The authors use groundbreaking brain research to explain why being the target of a woman's hurtful behavior and being socially excluded can be so excruciatingly painful to women. Holiday and Rosenberg offer compelling information for understanding the hidden dynamics (psychological, biological, social and media influences) that lead women to hurt or oppress women and that comprimise authentic female relationships. Mean Girls, Meaner Women is a riveting read for females interested in understanding women's relationships, building closer and more collaborative bonds with each other, and living authentically. Questions designed to help girls and women increase self awareness and add strength and depth to their relationships with each other are found throughout the book. Readers will also discover: how the female brain is wired to be more relatinal and suffer more hurt; the emotional cost of countless "no-win" situations including the "Original Sin of Being Female", the "Paradox of the Healthy Adult", and "Beauty and the Bind"; the role angry and competitive feelings between women has on authentic and deep connections; how being "different" could make you the target of hurtful behavior; how the media supports and reinforces hostile behavior through the "Money Shot"; behavior that catches the attention of the "Gender Police"; what women can learn from men about communicating with each other; and critical steps for healing and creating closer connections with women.

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0981972608
• ISBN13: 9780981972602
• Release Date: June 2009
• Publisher: Orchid Press
• Length: 190 Pages
• Weight: 0.74 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.4" x 6.0" x 9.0"

Customer Reviews

YOU HAVE TO READ THIS BOOK!

It really is a MUST READ for girls and women of all ages! As a consultant, educator, and trainer in areas involving diversity, multicultural issues and oppression, this book was a mind-opener. I found the book to be an easy read, yet packed with information that really explains why girls and women hurt each other, and how important it is to break this cycle and change our relationships with each other. The overall message is positive and is one that invites us to be more authentic, first with ourselves and then with each other. The authors highlight better emotional coping strategies and more direct communication with each other as elements that build a strong sense of self and high self-esteem...these elements act as protection against hostile and hurtful behavior before it starts. The "something to think about" questions offered nice prompts for me to consider my own behavior and I know I can use them as conversation starters in the education and consulting work that I do. I'm inspired and motivated to help stop this vicious cycle. WE need to make a real commitment to connecting with all the women in our lives in a much more caring and compassionate manner. MAKE SURE WOMEN IN YOUR LIFE HAVE A COPY OF THIS BOOK!

Fantastic!

Thank God somebody finally wrote an honest book about this. I've suffered terribly at the hands of other women all my life but felt guilty about talking about it because I was a Feminist. I didn't know how to conceptualize what had happened to me and secretly hated other women. Reading it was incredibly healing and I'd recommend it to anyone, woman or man, Feminist or not. Our society sets women up as "purity symbols" and discourages them from acting in ways that tarnish their image. This forces women to manipulate and hide their true feelings. I believe the only way forward for people trying to change the world is to deal honestly with human nature, female and male. The truth about what we end up doing to each other in this society is the first step toward change.

A MUST READ FOR EVERY WOMAN OF ALL AGES!

This book is absolutely a must-read for every woman of all ages! This book shed so much light on why women degrade, belittle, compete with and betray each other. It was an eye opening experience for me. The book, at first glance, seems to be a manual on how to deal with other women's devious tactics, but that is not the point of the book at all. Through stories and careful dissection of behaviors, interwoven with societal pressures/contributors, the authors detail what we are doing to ourselves (women vs. women) and how it is perpetuated by societal agendas/customs. This book did more to explain the issues between women than any other book I have ever read. I cannot stress enough how important this book is for EVERY woman to read for herself and to read to her daughter, her cousin, her mother, her sister, her friends... This book is not about how to survive a demon woman or a group of them, this book is about recognizing what we are doing to each other and why and how to break the cycle. I plan on buying several copies for Christmas gifts in an effort to spread the word to all of the fabulous women in my life (sisters, cousin, friends...) about how we can finally end the hurtful competitiveness and act of maliciousness towards each other (women vs. women). We finally have no excuse not to recognize how our behavior affects other women...some of the findings are absolutely shocking and quite saddening...but there is hope and we don't have to continue putting on a show for the sake of seeming like the best, the sexiest, the whatever superlative you want to insert here... Rebecca

My thoughts

As a male, I found this book to be so informative. It not only allows for a better understanding of what the social world of women is like, but also gives a new perspective for anyone, male or female, who has had issues handling interpersonal relationships. A definite must read for anyone interested in gender issues.

Insightful Read

If you want a greater understanding as to why women treat other women as harshly as they do, you MUST READ this book!