Major Conflict: One Gay Man's Life in the Don't-Ask-Don't-Tell Military

By Jeffrey McGowan

Book Overview

A book that will move hearts and open minds, Jeffrey McGowan's memoir is the first personal account of a gay man's silent struggle in the don't-ask-don't-tell military, from a cadet who rose to the rank of major, left as a decorated Persian Gulf hero, and whose same-sex marriage was the first on the East Coast. Love of country and personal love combine in this groundbreaking memoir of one gay man's life in the military-and beyond. In Major Conflict, Queens-born Jeffrey McGowan tells how he enlisted in the army in the late 1980s and served with distinction for ten years. But McGowan had a secret: he was gay. In the don't-ask-don't-tell world of the Clinton-era army, being gay meant automatic expulsion. So, at the expense of his personal life and dignity, he hid his sexual identity and continued to serve the army well. Major Conflict is a moving account of his years in the military, the homophobia he encountered there, and his life afterward. McGowan presents a vivid portrait of his experience as a soldier in the Persian Gulf, where he commanded U.S. troops in Operation Desert Storm, eventually rising to the rank of major. Ultimately, however, he realized that the army held no future for gay men-even closeted ones. Desiring more of a personal life and tired of hiding his true identity, McGowan resigned from the Army he loved in 1998. In February 2004, he married his partner of six years in New Paltz, New York, making front-page news in the New York Times .

• Format: Hardcover
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0767918991
• ISBN13: 9780767918992
• Release Date: March 2005
• Publisher: Broadway Books
• Length: 278 Pages
• Weight: 0.90 lbs.
• Dimensions: 1.0" x 6.4" x 9.3"

Customer Reviews

Eye opening about the effects of "don't ask, don't tell" and very heartfelt

This book is a very heartfelt account of the life of one gay US soldier. It spans roughly two decades: it starts with McGowan's time in the ROTC and goes up to his promotion to Major and his choice to leave the army (with a short epilogue on McGowan's life after the military and his marriage in New Paltz). I think the book portrays very well the enormous difficulties and the psychological tolls that gay soldiers have to go through in order to continue to serve. Part of the McGowan's service was under the so-called "don't ask, don't tell", part of it was under the previous regime. The book led me to conclude that from a practical point of view there is hardly any difference between the "don't ask, don't tell" and the regime in which gay people were simply excluded: both regimes require gay US soldiers not have a life. It is amazing how pervasive the effects of "don't ask, don't tell" are, how intrusive they are in the everyday life of the soldiers. The book exemplifies how gay soldiers are forced by the policy to lie: they are forced to lie to straight soldier and they are forced to lie to one another because they have no way of being sure whether the other is gay. They can't go to gay bars because if they are seen they are discharged. They can't communicate with their partner openly, even via letter, because it is too risky. McGowan's book shows how "don't ask, don't tell" makes it almost impossible for gay US soldiers to have a life. The book is moving in many parts; I really came to empathize with Major McGowan. I was also surprised by how full of events his life was. I also want to note that the book is quite well written. The book would benefit from more editing, but the narrative is really compelling and heartfelt. I read the book twice in a row.

The Gulf War and beyond

"Major Conflict: One Gay Man's Life in the Don't-Ask-Don't-Tell Military," by Jeffrey McGowan, is the memoir of a U.S. Army officer and Persian Gulf veteran. McGowan covers many parts of his life and career: his childhood in the Jackson Heights neighborhood of New York City, his youthful struggle to come to grips with his sexual identity, his service as an artillery officer, his duty in Germany at the end of the Cold War era, his combat tour in the first Gulf War against Iraq, duty at Fort Bragg, and his life after the army. Throughout the book McGowan charts his own search for love and sexual fulfillment in the shadow of the U.S. military's policy of discharging openly gay personnel. Particularly noteworthy are his account of a relationship with another soldier, and his description of the military reaction to the start of the Clinton presidency. McGowan vividly describes the impact the military's homosexuality policies have on gay soldiers; he shows how he was often forced to live a double life of lies and evasion. He also recalls the hounding of other soldiers suspected of being gay. McGowan also reflects on Army tradition and esprit-de-corps, and gives insight into the experience of combat. The book also touches on the same-sex marriage controversy; as the book jacket notes, he and his partner were married in a ceremony in New Paltz, New York in 2004. The book contains some vivid and well-written sections. Particularly moving is his account of his warm and loving relationship with the grandparents who raised him. "Major Conflict" is a compelling story that effectively explores the timely gays-in-the-military issue.

An important book by an eloquent man.

Jeff McGowan has added an important voice to the national debate over Don't Ask, Don't Tell. "Major Conflict" is both affecting and effective -- an earnest, insightful account of the ethical and emotional compromises that our military demands of gay and lesbian soldiers on a daily basis. It is also a personal memoir of one man's coming of age, first as a citizen and soldier, then as a lover and spouse. The story is well told and, at times, beautiful. I have done extensive scholarly work on Don't Ask, Don't Tell, interviewing scores of gay and lesbian soldiers in the process. McGowan's book ranks among the most powerful of the stories that I have encountered. We all have a responsibility to understand the impact that our government's irrational and discriminatory policy has upon the gay and lesbian citizens who serve in the defense of our country. Jeff McGowan's book brings us a step closer to that understanding. I recommend it highly.

Very interesting account

This book is an honest account of coming to terms with being who you are. It is inspirational reading for anyone who has ever struggled with their identity. It is especially interesting because of its timeliness, because of the war we are currently engaged in. McGowan traveled a long road and followed the light at the end of the tunnel, eventually becoming, with his partner, the first same sex couple to be married in New Paltz. The issues surrounding being gay and being in the military are salient for anyone who is concerned about what is happening in our world, whether or not they are gay. I would congratulate McGowen and anyone like him who kept their struggle honest and didn't give up until they were satisfied with their life. By writing his story, he offers hope to others.

Major Conflict

"Major Conflict " is highly readable...moving and inspiring. It is a book for all audiences. McGowan draws you into this well written honest read. I admire his courage, integrity, and his self awakening humanity. It's astonshing how our government can discriminate against gay people who are willing to serve and die for this country. I recommend anyone who is interested in a changed government to please pick up the book.