Liking the Child You Love: Build a Better Relationship with Your Kids-Even When They're Driving You Crazy

By Jeffrey Bernstein

Book Overview

"I shouldn't have to tell him that again "

"She is just so spoiled."

"They don't appreciate anything I do for them."

Do you feel like you're at the end of your rope? Are you exhausted by your kids arguing over every little thing? Finally there's a name for your feelings: "Parent Frustration Syndrome" (PFS). No kid is perfect, but parents often don't realize just how much their own thoughts, rather than their children's behavior, contribute to being emotionally overwhelmed and discouraged.

In Liking the Child You Love, Renowned psychologist Dr. Jeffrey Bernstein offers proven strategies for taming the 9 most common toxic thought patterns that stop us from parenting effectively:

The "Always or Never" TrapLabel GluingSeething SarcasmSmoldering SuspicionsDetrimental DenialEmotional OverheatingBlame Blasting"Should" SlammingDooming Conclusions

As you identify and put a stop to PFS's negative thought patterns, you'll be amazed at how your kids' defiant behavior quickly improves, without having to raise your voice or dole out harsh punishments. Soon you will have a closer, calmer, and more loving relationship with your kids -- just by changing your own mindset.

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 073821261X
• ISBN13: 9780738212616
• Release Date: June 2009
• Publisher: Balance
• Length: 272 Pages
• Weight: 0.61 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.8" x 5.4" x 8.1"

Customer Reviews

Very helpful and positive

I have read a lot of books and have seen several therapists to help me deal with a "challenging" teenager, but this book was probably the most helpful in teaching me how to change my behavior and my thinking. Thank you!

An excellent resource

Dr. Bernstein's book fills a much-needed niche in parenting help literature. He offers practical approaches that are sound and effective. It is a wonderful resource for any parent of a challenging child. As a psychologist, I find it to be very useful and recommend it to my clients!

Another winner from Dr. Bernstein

This is the third book that I have read from Dr. Bernstein and it is so amazing that he seems to be writing exclusively for my family! We had so many parenting struggles since my child has ADHD and other challenges. I found out there were better ways to parent and build a better relationship with my son. It's never easy to change your parenting style but Dr. Bernstein gives such great insight, examples and suggestions that really stuck with me. I especially liked his "Parent Frustration Syndrome" (boy could I identify with that) and how to get over your toxic thoughts with parenting.I am proud of our family and the progress we all have made. Thanks, Dr. Bernstein, for such helpful books! I would highly recommend this book for any parent!

A book you must read, even if you have well behaved children.

I take great pride in how I parent my son. I love; I discipline; I set boundaries; I praise often. But my methods are distorted and aren't effective because I wasn't aware of my own toxic thoughts and stress from my home, family, and marriage. I set rules, but my child isn't learning from his mistakes. Dr. Jeff explains and gives examples of how toxic thinking interferes with understanding your child's behavior, and how it interferes with your relationship. After reading Liking the Child You Love, I am parenting smarter... discipline without the shaming, demonstrate consequences my child can understand, listening and really hearing my child. I am building a healthy relationship with my son. I recommend this book to all parents.

This Book Is a Parenting Lifesaver

I am so grateful to Dr. Bernstein for writing this new book. When I read his other book, 10 Days to Less Defiant Child, I came away with "real world", easy-to-apply advice for my two preteen children and one teenager. Even though I had a very defiant teen, that book helped me so much with all three kids. I really applied his strategies and all of my kids started to become less challenging and show me more respect within days. I am not kidding!!!! Now that I have also read Liking The Child You Love, my understanding of my children's struggles (and my own as a parent) even make more sense. Now I have concrete tools to stop my toxic thoughts from getting in the way of getting along and being close to my kids. Just like Dr. Jeff says, loving our kids is much easier than liking them. Now that I have cleared out the cobwebs of toxic thoughts from my mind, I find I understand all three of my kids so much better. I have learned to be less rigid and demanding in how I behave as a parent, and my kids actually want to please me more. My teen also just told me how she likes that I don't "spaz out" like I used to. I never realized just how much my just changing my rigid, negative thoughts for the better would actually reflect so positively in my kids' behavior. Thanks again for another winner, Dr. Jeff!