Leave a Cheater, Gain a Life is a no-nonsense guide for anyone who has ever been cheated on and needs advice not based on saving their relationship after infidelity--but saving their sanity. In the infidelity literature, cheaters get all the glory--their unmet needs, commitment challenges, and love triangle drama. They are the glamorous taboo breakers, star-crossed lovers, and rebels against the hegemonic forces of monogamy. Chumps (the betrayed partners) by contrast are the dullards left out of the discourse. When mentioned, it's to discuss how they failed to enchant and must "own their part" in their partner's infidelity. Leave a Cheater, Gain a Life puts the attention squarely on the cheated-upon. Written by a former chump, it's a resource that champions self-respect. It doesn't assume reconciliation or buy the victim-blaming narrative that we compel people to cheat on us by our inadequacies (or can win them back by being nicer). Instead, it puts responsibility for affairs squarely on cheaters and their crappy character. It also has a good time lampooning the absurd self-centeredness of cheating. Based on the writings of Tracy Schorn's popular infidelity blog ChumpLady.com, Schorn offers a masterclass on how to decode manipulation, fight back, and focus on gaining a life after betrayal.
If you or someone you love has been cheated on, this is the book you need to help you to move forward and to reclaim your sanity. This book has surely saved lives! Her website and podcasts are also wonderful and incredibly helpful. Highly recommended!
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