Girlfighting: Betrayal and Rejection Among Girls

By Lyn Mikel Brown

Book Overview

Offers a developmental explanation for girlfighting and pathways to build girl allies

For some time, reality TV, talk shows, soap-operas, and sitcoms have turned their spotlights on women and girls who thrive on competition and nastiness. Few fairytales lack the evil stepmother, wicked witch, or jealous sister. Even cartoons feature mean and sassy girls who only become sweet and innocent when adults appear. And recently, popular books and magazines have turned their gaze away from ways of positively influencing girls' independence and self-esteem and towards the topic of girls' meanness to other girls. What does this say about the way our culture views girlhood? How much do these portrayals affect the way girls view themselves?

In Girlfighting, psychologist and educator Lyn Mikel Brown scrutinizes the way our culture nurtures and reinforces this sort of meanness in girls. She argues that the old adage "girls will be girls"--gossipy, competitive, cliquish, backstabbing-- and the idea that fighting is part of a developmental stage or a rite-of-passage, are not acceptable explanations. Instead, she asserts, girls are discouraged from expressing strong feelings and are pressured to fulfill unrealistic expectations, to be popular, and struggle to find their way in a society that still reinforces gender stereotypes and places greater value on boys. Under such pressure, in their frustration and anger, girls (often unconsciously) find it less risky to take out their fears and anxieties on other girls instead of challenging the ways boys treat them, the way the media represents them, or the way the culture at large supports sexist practices.

Girlfighting traces the changes in girls' thoughts, actions and feelings from childhood into young adulthood, providing the developmental understanding and theoretical explanation often lacking in other conversations. Through interviews with over 400 girls of diverse racial, economic, and geographic backgrounds, Brown chronicles the labyrinthine journey girls take from direct and outspoken children who like and trust other girls, to distrusting and competitive young women. She argues that this familiar pathway can and should be interrupted and provides ways to move beyond girlfighting to build girl allies and to support coalitions among girls.

By allowing the voices of girls to be heard, Brown demonstrates the complex and often contradictory realities girls face, helping us to better understand and critique the socializing forces in their lives and challenging us to rethink the messages we send them.

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0814799515
• ISBN13: 9780814799512
• Release Date: March 2005
• Publisher: New York University Press
• Length: 259 Pages
• Weight: 0.85 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.7" x 6.0" x 9.0"

Customer Reviews

Comprehensive, credible, and smart

I read this book as part of a feminist psychology class. It was my favorite reading in the class and I wholly recommend it. Though I will admit that it is a very academic book, it is definately not a difficult read. And as bullying among boys has been studied for a long time, this book fills the CRITICAL-- but largely missing--narrative of female competition and power struggle. When my teacher introduced this book to us, she asked: "Should have Brown included boys in her book?" The answer is NO, this is a whole different beast. It all boils down to girls and women seeking routes to power in a society that says that they must be "good" and tries to force them to be weak. Brown really knows what she is talking about. All of her arguments and conclusions are based on extensive qualitative-- and some quantitative--research and it is clear that her theories and observations ring true. This book is truly AMAZING and englightening. It is an essential read for girls, women, parents, educators, and ALL. READ IT!

Really well-done.

First, let me identify myself as a very critical reader of books that deal with the anthropology and psychology of pre-teens, tweens, and adolescents. There is plenty of dross on the market, and I am so pleased that this book is not part of that rubbish heap. This is a very thoughtful, balanced work. There is no jumping to conclusions after a few anecdotal examples (which usually seems to be the case). There is a a lot of genuine analysis. Kudos!

best book on mean girls

Lyn Mikel Brown respects girls. This book is a huge departure from the other pop psychology books about "mean girls". Lyn Brown has been guiding us for years through the labyrinth of girls issues with her other fine work. Add Girlfighting to the list. This book really goes deeply into the culture of how and why girls are developing the way they are. Brown wants us to change things for girls; she wants us to open our eyes to the pressures on girls. She gives us all hope through understanding and realizing how we can help girls feel strong and supportive of one another. This is a great book for parents, educators, and therapists, anyone who wants to understand what makes girls tick.

Excellent Work

Lyn Mikel Brown uses her excellent expertise on the matter of "girlfighting" and everything that goes with it. Her knowledge of the subject balanced with her own stories perfectly fit the book for a entertaining yet educational work.