Getting It Through My Thick Skull: Why I Stayed, What I Learned, and What Millions of People Involved with Sociopaths Need to Know

By Mary Jo Buttafuoco

Book Overview

"I think, every once in a while, about the life I should be living, the one I fully expected to be enjoying right about now. In the life I was supposed to have, my husband and I would be admiring the view from our waterfront home in the town where we were both born and raised. Good friends and neighbors would be next door, up the street, and all over the neighborhood. Our parents would live only blocks away, in our childhood homes. We'd be taking our grandchildren to the beach club on weekends, enjoying the fruits of our labors and looking forward to a peaceful retirement. That was the plan, anyway . . . but the whole world knows how that turned out."

Mary Jo Buttafuoco's anonymous life as a suburban wife and mother in sleepy Massapequa, New York, on Long Island, ended in May 1992, when she was shot in the head on her own front porch by her husband's sixteen-year-old mistress. The 'Long Island Lolita' saga sparked a media frenzy that continues to this day. As the years passed and Mary Jo steadfastly stood by her man, Joey Buttafuoco, while he and Amy Fisher continued to make headlines, one question lingered in the minds of people everywhere: Why did she stay for so long?

In Getting It Through My Thick Skull, Mary Jo finally answers that question fully and convincingly. The answer is simple, yet it took almost three decades of turmoil to discover for herself--she was married to a sociopath. Using her tragic and triumphant life lessons and never-before-told accounts of life with Joey, Mary Joe helps readers undrestand sociaopathic behavior and the emotional traps it springs on willing partners, and offers hope and help for the millions of people caught in the cycle of toxic relationships.

In addition, readers will meet a new-and-improved Mary Jo, confident and at peace with her new life, and will be inspired by her comback. Through private details of the resiliency and rebuilding she has forged over the past seventeen years, Mary Jo shares for the first time:
Her addiction to painkillers and her recovery through the Betty Ford Center Her overdue decision to leave Joey and start over again in California--3,000 miles from her support system Taking control of her physical, spiritual, and emotional health and learned to feel attractive and in control again Her highly controversial forgiveness of Amy Fisher The letters she recieved from both Amy and Joy, and her reactions to both How she found the courage to trust, believe, and find hope in a committed relationship once again The details of the new love in her life and the joys and challenges of raising a Brady Bunch--style family
Includes a 16-page color insert from the Buttafuoco family album.

• Format: Hardcover
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0757313728
• ISBN13: 9780757313721
• Release Date: July 2009
• Publisher: Hci
• Length: 255 Pages
• Weight: 1.13 lbs.
• Dimensions: 1.0" x 6.1" x 9.1"

Customer Reviews

Great read

I really enjoyed this book! Easy read & very interesting

Getting It Through My Thick Skull

A well-written, thorough review of the sociopathic nature by someone who lived with it for 25 years. In plain language, Buttafuoco describes various manipulation and control techniques she endured without really realizing what was happening to her. This book sheds a clear light on the characteristics of a sociopath, and really makes you realize that you have seen many more instances of this type behavior without realizing what you were seeing. Knowledge is power in protecting yourself, and this book gives the reader great insight. This book should be a starting point for any one wanting to learn about sociopathic abuse.

Not Just the Same Tabloid Rehash

I remember the headlines and media attention brought about by the Amy Fisher case. It's refreshing to read a non-sensationalized, genuine personal account from Mary Jo Buttafuoco's perspective. We see how Mary Jo grows emotionally from a naive victim into a strong woman who accepts responsibility for her own mistakes and finds peace and forgiveness in her new life. I was pleasantly surprised by Mary Jo's insightfulness and no-nonsense approach to healing after years of being trapped in a dysfunctional relationship with a sociopath. She is an inspiration to women who suffer in any type of unhealthy relationship.

You go, Mary Jo! What an inspirational story!

While I was not a big Fisher/Buttafuoco fan (missed the made-for-TV movies and most of their interviews), of course I was aware of the story--who wasn't? This memoir could have been just another version of that whole debacle, but it was so much more. Not only is it finally a version from the victim herself, but this book is more about Mary Jo figuring out how and where her life fell apart and then reinventing herself. What happened to her could have happened to anyone. Mary Jo was just an average housewife trying to live an average life, and she ended up as a national joke because of her husband and his teenage lover. Few of us whose lives take a sharp detour have to do so under the microscope of public scrutiny, yet what choice did Mary Jo have? I wonder how many of us would have handled thing any better if we had walked in those same steps? This book dispels so many of the misconceptions I had about her life, and I found myself cheering her as she came to grips with her depression, her substance abuse, and her struggle to reinvent herself. Mary Jo's story is a testament to the power of positive thinking, the ability to be what you dream, and the capacity we all have to mold a better new life once we let go of the toxic ideas that get us nowhere. Mary Jo Buttafuoco may be a famous name, but her story could be anyone's story.

Compelling and A Surprisingly Good Read

I was pleasantly surprised by how much I liked his book. It's not a schlocky National Enquireristic piece of junk, it's a thoughtful and inspiring book that I had a hard time putting down. Here's what was compelling to me... We all look at sensational media coverage of events by looking over the shoulders of reporters and papparazzi. In this book I really got a feel for what's it's like to be the person who's got the camera lens focused on their every move and breath. Mary Jo helped me to feel the violation of that in a very real way. I cannot imagine what it would be like to suffer the trauma of a senseless attack, only to be attacked over and over again by a senseless media circus. Here's somebody who survived SO many things and it's inspiring to know that she's found a way to be a happy, healthy, and whole person. She's still walking around with a bullet in her head, but seems to have an attitude of optimism and dignity that I don't think I would be able to muster under similar life circumstances. It puts my seemingly "big" problems into perspective. The most valuable part of this book to the world, I think, is the reference to sociopathic behavior. There is probably a HUGE number of women (and men!) living with sociopaths, completely unaware that the insanity of it isn't NORMAL. It's easy to get lost in that dysfunction, because of the ability of sociopaths to charm their way out of anything. I think it is the same kind of abuse as a spouse beater, without the physical wounds, but much more damaging because it messes with your head so bad. Bravo to Mary Jo for all that she's lived through and all that she's shared - willingly or unwillingly - on the public stage.

Great Book

When the shooting occurred there was more publicity about Amy Fisher and Joey than Mary Jo. This book tells her story and is written with honesty. It really brought home how a person's life can change in just a second. Clearly, Mary Jo's life was never the same after the shooting, but she picked herself up and made a new life for herself. I couldn't put the book down. I highly recommend it.