Though not a prodigious writer by any stretch, I promised myself that upon my deployment in Afghanistan, I would keep a personal journal in which I would record my daily thoughts about our activities in Afghanistan. Whether felt as a group or individually, the feelings experienced by Soldiers in a combat zone run the gamut. From the anticipation and joy of receiving a letter or package from home, to the deep sadness and frustration of losing a fellow Soldier in combat, our emotions spanned the spectrum--sometimes from one minute to the next, such as when the optimism and pride derived from witnessing Afghan and US Soldiers performing as an effective and functional combat team shifted to disappointment and anger upon hearing that an Afghan commander was abusing his Soldiers.From the crushing desert heat in summer, to the stinging cold of the mountain winter, through dust storms, snow storms, pitched firefights, and extreme boredom, we rode a turbulent sea of emotions, all in the struggle to survive the torrents of war.The entries in this journal are my attempt to explore the complicated range of emotions associated with Soldiers in wartime--feelings that evolved over the course of my tour and at times even contradicted themselves as I worked to understand the complexities of the conflict, how we came to be there, and accepted the sometimes rewarding, often frustrating, reality of working with Afghan Soldiers and civilians.Written in the form of letters to my wife, Tania, who was my lifeline every day of my deployment, this journal afforded me the opportunity to communicate more or less directly with the one person with whom I could openly share my feelings at the time. This record of my experience is thus dedicated to her. I am forever in her debt she was and still is my Rock my hereon back on the home front.
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