Forgiving the Unforgivable: Overcoming the Bitter Legacy of Intimate Wounds

By Beverly Flanigan

Book Overview

"A clearheaded study of what life can do to us and possible ways to begin again." -Carl A. Whitaker, M.D., author of Midnight Musings of a Family Therapist and coauthor of The Family Crucible Women and men who have been deeply hurt by someone they love often experience a pain that spirals out to undermine their work, relationships, self-esteem, and even their sense of reality. In Forgiving the Unforgivable, author Beverly Flanigan, a leading authority on forgiveness, defines such unforgivable injuries, explains their poisonous effects, and then guides readers out of the paralyzing anger and resentment. As a Fellow of the Kellogg Foundation, Flanigan conducted a pioneering study of forgiveness, and from that study, from her clinical practice, and from her many years of teaching, researching, and conducting professional workshops and seminars, she devised a unique six-stage program, presented here. Filled with inspiring real-life examples, Forgiving the Unforgivable is both a practical and a comforting guide to recovery and healing.

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0020322305
• ISBN13: 9780020322306
• Release Date: June 1994
• Publisher: Trade Paper Press
• Length: 288 Pages
• Weight: 0.75 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.6" x 5.7" x 8.2"

Customer Reviews

If Something Unforgivable Has Happened to You

This book was awesome....understandable...easy read...no convoluted psychological jargon...reasons for why we need to forgive....and suggestions for support groups at the end....If something you think is unforgivable has happened to you....this is a must read...takes a load of weight off your shoulders...

This book is different from the rest.

I disagree with some of the previous reviews. This book helps people overcome some of the most heinous events imaginable, where changing one's point of view cannot ease the pain. Many books deal with forgiveness of the slings and arrows of more typical human existence, and while those events may be horrible, they may not change lives to the degree of some of the events Flanigan describes. This book deals with methods to overcome the events that cause friends and family to become speechless, or worse, withdraw from the wounded in shock and confusion. It's a challenging book - take it slowly: it's well worth the effort.

This book was a big help to me.

My relationship of 3 1/2 years recently ended when my partner left me for another woman. I had no warning that this was coming and was devastated by the abrupt ending. I had foolishly believed that we were both happy. Because I am a believer in attitudinal healing I wanted to be able to forgive. But I was just so hurt and so angry that I couldn't find my way to the forgiveness that would bring back my peace of mind. Then I found this book. It started out by validating all of the feelings that I had ... and explaining how I had lost much more than just the relationship. It then offered practical advice and case studies to help get through the 6 steps for forgiveness. If I had not read this book, I would still be in a much darker place right now. I highly recommend it to those of you suffering from intimate woulds and unforgivable offenses.

Forgiving the Unforgivable: Overcoming the Bitter Legacy of

After reading hundreds of self-help books in an attempt to overcome anger and be able to forgive, this book finally gave a no-nonsense, step by step schematic that really works! The book helps the reader define the injury, identify the responsible party, and move toward the final step of unloading the bitterness that can hold you back and keep you unhappy.I was totally amazed at how effective the outline was. After 35 years, I now look at my life in an entirely new way. I highly recommend this book to anyone who is having difficulty getting past an emotional injury.

Feeling the freedom

This book has been very helpful to me. I needed the release of forgiving my husband not so that he could feel better but so that I could. The book describes how I felt and gave explanations of the stages I had gone through and would be going through. There is a prescribed journey to the goal of forgiving which I seemed to need to get me out of the anger which was eating me up. The concrete steps I could take made the trip easier. There is a chart I found particularly important because it is understandable to a linear thinker like my husband.