Forced to Be Family: A Guide for Living with Sinister Sisters, Drama Mamas, and Infuriating In-Laws

By Cheryl Dellasega

You can survive the "kitchen wars"--and live in peace with your family

"My sisters-in-law couldn't stand me. I was really hurt when my kids weren't mentioned in their grandmother's obituary because they weren't 'full-blooded' family."

"My mom is always giving advice, always telling me to do such and such when she doesn't do it herself. If my husband and I have a fight, she takes his side "

"My sister did call me a week later to apologize but proceeded to tell me everything that was wrong with me, my husband, and my children."

Sound familiar? There's nothing new or unusual about conflict between mothers, sisters, and other female family members--but that doesn't make it any less painful or destructive. Adding to the hurt of relational abuse within the family is the permanent nature of the relationship: you can sever relations with an abusive friend, but you can't stop being the sister/daughter/niece of an abusive relative. Does that mean that there's no way out?

In Forced to Be Family, you'll discover how to determine whether a female family member is being abusive, recognize the sources of that abuse, and break the vicious cycle that keeps the abuse alive. You don't have to choose between accepting abuse and "making a scene." This insightful, reassuring guide gives you the strategies and understanding you need to reestablish warm and loving relationships with the women who will always be closest to you.

• Format: Hardcover
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0470049995
• ISBN13: 9780470049990
• Release Date: September 2007
• Publisher: Wiley
• Length: 272 Pages
• Weight: 1.06 lbs.
• Dimensions: 1.0" x 6.2" x 9.0"

Customer Reviews

This book was great!

This book was fabulous! So fabulous in fact, that I am buying a copy for every female relative I have. Thanks, Cheryl Dellasega, for helping me understand my relationships with my female relatives.

Great perspective on a delicate topic!

Wow - I never thought I'd find a book so easy and enjoyable to read and so helpful on a touchy topic. Dr. Dellasega comes through with heartfelt, professional advice on family relationships - many I find myself searching for answers for during holidays, picnics, weddings and day to day conversations with family females. A great, subtle holiday gift and message for those who may be culprits in your own family life - without the awkward confrontation!!! A real gem! Elizabeth Cook, Harrisburg - PA

Patricia Gadsden, Harrisburg,PA

Dr. Cheryl Dellasega has done it again. I actually thought this book was written for the women in my family and the challenges we face to stay bonded through love, forgiveness and patience. To connect relational aggression to family relationships was an eye opener which before reading I had not considered. Thank you Cheryl for another excellent book.

Sherry Musselman

Dr Dellasega continues to establish herself as the ultimate authority on women and relational aggression. This is her finest work to date that explores all aspects of women's relationships among relatives. The brief exercises really gave me insight into how I react in those family gatherings and more importantly what I need to change. It's a must read for all of us who yearn for more meaningful connections with the women of our families.

Highly recommend this book before the holidays!

I just finished reading "Forced to Be Family" and hope that EVERYONE reads this before their next family gathering. The stories Dr. Dellasega shares in this book are real, touching, and sometimes emotional. There were so many I could relate to personally. It really made me think about myself and re-examine how I interact with the various women in my life, both family members and friends. Some of the quizzes in the book are amazing, and it was an eye opener to me when I honestly answered the questions in regards to close family members. I am so glad I read this before my family gathers over the holidays. I am planning to use the tools in this book to make MY holidays smoother and really think about how I choose to react to the various personality types I'll face over the next few months. Every woman needs to read this book!