Closing the Gap: A Strategy for Bringing Parents and Teens Together

By Jay McGraw

Book Overview

Parents: Does your teen withdraw to his or her room at every opportunity? Does she talk with you about her friends? Does he participate in discussions at meals? Does your teen want you to see projects from school? When is the last time you actually went into your teen's room and looked at what's hanging on the walls and sitting on the shelves? Teens: Do your parents hide behind the newspaper? Do they always have to work when you've got a game, a recital, or an open house at school? Is there anything you do together anymore? When was the last time they took a walk, a bike ride, or even a trip to get ice cream with you? When did that sudden gap divide your home into territories staked and claimed, with music blasting through the halls and fists banging on doors to turn down the stereo/TV/video game? Teens, when did you start seeing your parents as your enemies instead of your heroes? And parents, when did you start seeing your teens as crazy little demons instead of your loving children? Finally, there is a solution for both sides, and one that will not only bridge that gap but show parents and teens alike how to prevent it. Jay McGraw is the ideal person to write a book for both parents and teens. A bestselling author by the age of twenty-one and son of number one New York Times bestseller Phillip C. McGraw, Ph.D., known to millions worldwide as Dr. Phil, Jay has seen the parent-teen battle from all angles. In this groundbreaking work, he introduces a new plan for both teens and their parents to work through the issues that divide them and, in the process, rediscover the love that initially defined their relationship. Jay works from both sides -- sharing the perspectives of parent and teen as the former struggles for control, the latter for independence. He explains to parents how their teenagers wish to be treated, cared for, and even disciplined, and he shows teens how gaining power can come only from earning respect. In this entertaining, informative, and life-changing book, Jay gives instructions to both sides of the familial gap on: Dos and Don'ts for Parents and Teens Parent and Teen Myths Discovering Your Needs Tuning In to the Needs of Others Ten Ways to Bridge the Gap and Reconnect In finding a common ground and, even more important, a common respect for each other, parents and teens can break down the walls, unlock the doors, and welcome each other back into one another's lives again.

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0743224698
• ISBN13: 9780743224697
• Release Date: November 2001
• Publisher: Touchstone Books
• Length: 208 Pages
• Weight: 0.80 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.5" x 6.2" x 9.2"
• Age Range: 13 to 17 years
• Grade Range: Grades 8 to 12

Customer Reviews

Closed The Gap

Even when your teen see's you with the book he stated we are close why havea book like that? Well even if you think you are close its a great talking point to start healing and gaps you had the questions perfect evn for your teens closest friends. Its been a wonderful experience getting to know him a whole lot better and them knowing their parents a whole lot better. Thank you Jay with Love

closing future gaps

The bad news is that for myself and my own teenagers this book came a little late...about 10 years. The good news is that for my now adult children and my soon to be 8 grandchildren you can never start to early to prepare yourself and your kids for those teenage years. I bought 5 copies of Closing the Gap. I originally bought one to give to my younger brother who's daughter is in the midst of teenage years-15. He started asking me what I had done when my kids were going through the insanity. I was flattered he valued my opinion until I gave it and he said "Thanks, now at least I know what not to do." I took it as a joke, but truth be told, I had made a mistake or 12. I bought him the book so he would have a clue of what was the 'right' thing to do. I didn't intend to read it(teenagers??? been there, done that, don't want to go back), but picked it up one night out of boredom, expecting to get a laugh or two out of some old memories and a chuckle over my brothers reactions to what I thought would be the 'experts' advice. I did get a chuckle, but I also got a surprise...I wished I could of had that book way before my kids became teens. In the true Mcgraw fashion it's common sense slapped right in your face at precicely the correct velocity to make you open your eyes without making it hurt so bad you refuse to see the truth. I am sending a copy to each of my 4 children for my birthday. I can't think of a better birthday present than to give my grandchildren an edge my children didn't have. This little book made a big difference in my outlook and hopefully will make a big difference in the future of those most precious to me.

Humorous, Helpful Advice for Happier Parents and Teens

This book will be helpful to both teens and parents. You do not need to have your parents or your teen read the book to get benefit from Closing the Gap. You can simply begin closing the gap from your side.Mr. Jay McGraw (older son of Dr. Phil McGraw of Life Strategies, Relationship Rescue, and Self Matters fame), aged 22, has done it again! This book is another fine effort in improving communications within families. At age 22, Mr. McGraw is close enough to being a teenager to know what it's like and close enough to being removed from the teenage years that he can see the parental perspective. Favoring neither perspective, he is like a matchmaker bringing together two shy people who are in love with one another . . . but unwilling to declare their love. The book opens with a heart rending story of Jennine at age 25. This woman became pregnant as an unmarried teen, dropped out of school, has been a substance abuser, has been married and divorced twice, and is just recovering from a serious automobile accident (among other problems). At a Life Strategies seminar she is attending as a guest of her parents, she turns to her parents and savagely asks, "Why did you let me throw my life away when you knew better and I was being a complete moron? "Why didn't you make me do right?" Teens: Do you want to become Jennine? Parents: Do you want your children to ask you these questions someday? To assess how well you are communicating, the book offers a brief quiz for parents about teens for teens about parents. If you are like me, you will find you have some room for improvement!The book is built around the philosophy of win-win negotiating. "So, teens: if you want your parents to do what you want, all you have to do is figure out what their needs are and meet them." This must occur within the context of a lot of communication. The number one factor in home life quality is "the number of words spoken!!" The book explores teen myths (such as "my parents don't want me to have any fun" which often relates to parents wanting their teens to be safe), parent myths (such as "a good relationship is a peaceful one" underneath which all kinds of problems may fester), teen land mines (such as "thinking you are a lost cause" when everyone is ready to help you and you probably haven't really tried all that hard), dos and don'ts for parents (such as having a "clear boundary between parent role and buddy role"), and dos and don'ts for teens (such as "look before you leap, but do leap" as a way to become more competent).There's also a fine section on anger management that teens and parents both need. The book then proceeds to explain how parents and teens can reconnect by deciding what they each want out of the relationship, explaining their own needs, finding out what the other's needs are, and working out a plan for reconnecting. The book has some forms that you can use for this purpose. If your parent or teen won't fill one out, you can try filling it

Closing the Gap takes work

Jay McGraw reminds us how valuable our relationship is with our parents and that we need to work on it every minute of every day. We were all teenagers once and understand the pressure facing teens. But Jay shows us how to include parents and teens in each others lives. Just like going to soccer practice or to the movies with friends, your relationship with your parents needs to be scheduled. Jay writes with ease and really understands both parents and teenagers. I really enjoyed this book.

better communication at home

I am glad to see that this bestselling author took on and tackled the issues of parent/teen communication. I read his first book LIFE STRATEGIES FOR TEENS and shared it with my teens. They really enjoyed it and found that they can start to incorporate the life laws into their own lives almost immediately. So it was an easy reach to pick up this author's next book.I know that Jay McGraw's information and lessons are always very helpful and my kids are going to read it too! This book is a guide that every parent/teen household should have.