Bootleg

By Damon Wayans

Book Overview

Nothing is too outrageous for Damon Wayans. Whether he's talking about family, celebrities, racism, relationships, politics, or sex, Damon takes no prisoners. And in Bootleg, he brings it all on, uncut and uncensored:

Marriage...

What are the scariest words known to man? "Till death do us part." Why not until my car breaks down? Or until I run out of money?

I hate marriage counselors. This is the biggest scam in the world. Someone figured out a way that women can do the things they love best at the same time: talk and spend money.

Thoughts on celebrities, like Oprah, Mike Tyson, Dr. Kevorkian, Gary Coleman, and...

There's something worse than having HIV, ask 0.J.Imagine being alienated from the world, totally alone with no one wanting to have anything to do with you. I'll take the Ebola virus over what he got.

When I found out that Steven Spielberg has two black kids, I was amazed. Where did he get these kids from? Were they props left over from The Color Purple?

"The Dozens, a Favorite Childhood Game...

"Damon, your mother is so fat she has to take her pants off just to get into her pockets."
"Yeah, well, your mother's so poor she can't even pay attention."
"Oh, yeah, well your sister is so ugly, they have to tie a pork chop around her neck so that the dog will play with her."
"Yeah, well, your mother is so black every time she goes to night school the teachers mark her absent."

Living in LA...

I'm afraid of earthquakes, especially because I have kids to think about. I remember once after a big earthquake I was standing outside my house, butt-naked, thinking, "Man, I hope them kids make it out here. And I hope they're smart enough to wake up their mama, cause this place is shaking."

Black Leaders...

I must have been asleep the day they elected Al Sharpton as the black representative. He is the only leader in history to show up to a rally wearing a tight red velour sweat suit with a roller in the front of his hair.

Filled with laughs, craziness, and lots of truth, Bootleg will leave you hurting for more

Who went and told Magic Johnson that he should do a talk show? Anybody who repeatedly says "bassetball" doesn't have any business doing a talk show. I'm sure that sometimes in his life someone tried to correct him. When he was a little boy his mom must've tried:

Magic's Mother: Hey, Earvin, what are you going to be when you grow up?

Magic: I wanna play BASSETBALL.

Magic's Mother: Now, Earvin, its called BAS-KET-BALL. BASKETBALL.

Magic: That's what I said, BASSETBALL. BASSETBALL, BASSETBALL.

Magic's Mother: Well, baby, I hope you can play it, 'cause you sure can't say it.

• Format: Hardcover
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0060193662
• ISBN13: 9780060193669
• Release Date: May 1999
• Publisher: Harper
• Length: 208 Pages
• Weight: 0.93 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.8" x 5.8" x 8.6"

Customer Reviews

Hilarious!

I love this book! It is truly a book of comedy. I couldn't put it down. The first three pages are truly hilarious because we were just watching these shows two years ago. I laughed and laughed and laughed. When I read the section about family, I laughed so hard that I nearly cried. I recommend that everyone gets this book.

This book is the Bomb

This book is really good; I suggest this book to every person who is capable and willing to read book. The writing is excellent and David Asbery and Damon Wayans is not to be played with in regards to writing; But see for yourself and BUY THE BOOK!!!!!!!!!!!!

Remarkable & humerous way to express pressing issues.

Damon Wayons has done it again. He has found another way to bless America with his gift of laughter. "Bootleg" is another form of Damon's comedy expressed to make people see the funny side of life but at the same time, the upsets and other trying issues that effect people in everyday life. I really enjoyed this book and have recommended it to other readers. Damon always knows how to make you smile on your worst day. I also found the contributions by aspiring writer, David Asbery to be very beneficial. He is definately on his way to being a prominent writer that will be noted for detail & truth. It seems that he also puts his heart and soul into his work. David, keep striving. Damon, well done.

Great

This book is very funn

Excellent

This book was extremely witty and insightful. Damon and David Asbery make a great team. It is without question that Damon is a talented comedian. I hope he will release a Bootleg Part 2.