And Words Can Hurt Forever: How to Protect Adolescents from Bullying, Harassment, and Emotional Violence

By James Garbarino and Ellen deLara

Book Overview

As a society, we are only just beginning to understand the degree of damage that bullying inflicts on individual teenagers and on their relationships later in life. In this groundbreaking work, James Garbarino and Ellen deLara uncover the staggering extent of emotional cruelty and its ramifications and counter the nursery rhyme that words don't hurt.

In this groundbreaking work, James Garbarino, the bestselling author of Lost Boys, and Ellen deLara uncover the staggering extent and consequences of schoolyard bullying and classroom hostility, flat-out contradicting the nursery rhyme that "words can never hurt you." The authors then present evidence that teenagers--hundreds of whom they interviewed--have the solution to school violence, if only adults would listen.

Bullying has long been regarded as a way of life. Ever since Columbine, however, student reactions to harassment and intimidation are, finally, driving parents to consider this phenomenon seriously. And Words Can Hurt Forever teaches parents to accept reality (bullying occurs daily), challenge old beliefs ("Kids will be kids" or "If I lived through it, so can they"), and ally with other parents to take on the school system. Revelatory and ultimately uplifting, And Words Can Hurt Forever doesn't just highlight the problem, but offers steps that can be taken--must be taken--to solve it.

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0743228995
• ISBN13: 9780743228992
• Release Date: September 2003
• Publisher: Free Press
• Length: 256 Pages
• Weight: 0.57 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.7" x 5.5" x 8.6"

Customer Reviews

An Excellent Resource

"Sticks, stones, and bullets may break their bones, and words can break their hearts," write Drs. Garbarino and deLara in their book on bullying among teenagers. "And Words Can Hurt Forever" not only describes the increasing reality of the problem, but it also gives parents concrete ideas on what they can to protect their children. From their base at Cornell University, the authors interviewed students, teachers, and administrators from around the country. They found that, everyday, millions of teenagers suffer from emotional violence in the form of bullying, stalking, intimidation, and humiliation. "Over and over again parents are surprised, even stunned, to discover the extent and nature of the emotional and physical violence that their teenagers face at school," they say. The problem persists because students don't tell adults about it, and administrators are indifferent or unable to do anything. Garbarino and deLara point out that, if the same thing happened to us in our workplace, we would be quick to take legal action. Don't our children deserve the same level of protection? So, what can we do to create a safer environment for our teens? The "What You Can Do" list at the every chapter outlines concrete ideas such as: recognize that most students want adults to intervene; volunteer to supervise trouble areas of the building; exercise your right to contact your school board president; and if nothing improves for your child, consider legal intervention. Doctors Garbarino and de Lara conclude their book by saying: "When it comes to bullying, sexual harassment, and emotional violence at school, the buck stops with adults."

A must

Easily understandable and highly informative and not at all lacking in details-- a must for anyone interested in school safety or the timely issues of assuring the emotional and phyisical protection of our children in the school environment.

Excellent Book For Schools

I think that Garbarino's latest book accurately tells what students go through in high school and and its effects on some people. With school-shootings such as Columbine happening, I think that this book is definitely on the must-read list.

Excellent help for parents!

I found this book very readable and extremely helpful. I have two middle school children in two different middle schools, and I learned a lot from reading this book. It is based on research, and the authors make excellent recommendations for parents at the end of each chapter. Although I'd heard about bullying and mean comments occassionally, I had no idea how common this is for today's middle and high school kids. After reading this book I spent some time talking to my kids, both about being bullied and why kids act like bullies. Having read this book, I was a lot more comfortable having the conversation, and I think my kids realized that I understood some of their experiences. I strongly recommend this book for anyone who is concerned about their own child, or who wants to help change the environment within a school. (in fact, I wanted to make more specific comments, but I've already loaned this book to a friend whose son is being bullied!)I am also planning to give a copy to the guidance counselor at my daughter's school. After reading this, I realize that just having "BULLY FREE " signs up at school is not enough; and I have some ideas about what we could do to make things better. This book was a real wake-up call for me, and I highly recommend it.