A Fine Young Man: What Parents, Mentors, and Educators Can Do to Shape Adolescent Boys into Exceptional Men

By Michael Gurian

Book Overview

From depression to dropping grades, from incidents of violence to teen suicide, today's adolescent boys are one of the largest at-risk groups in America today. In this bracing and insightful book, the bestselling author of The Wonder of Boys directs our attention to the unknown problems and marvels of this age group, helping parents and mentors shepherd boys through the challenging ages of ten to twenty. Puberty encourages guilty alienation and fear. The result is that other boys often have a good deal of influence in the lives of younger adolescent friends, for better or for worse. A number of medical conditions have become almost common among adolescent boys, at least in part because of a lack of support. These range from simple depression, to trauma, to the elaborately named attention deficit hyperactive disorder (ADHD). Experimentation with drugs and alcohol has become almost common, and these contribute to delinquency and sometimes even to suicide. In A FINE YOUNG MAN Gurian establishes three major stages in a boy's progress to manhood: transformation (the metabolic changes from ages nine to thirteen), determination (characterized by alternate aggression and withdrawal), and consolidation (indicated by determining and testing definitions of adult male behavior). He concludes by offering what he considers indications that the process of individuation has begun. He returns often to the worthwhile observation that what boys need at every stage of the process of maturing is consistent support from a variety of sources both within and outside of the family. It is this support that is too often lacking.

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0874779693
• ISBN13: 9780874779691
• Release Date: April 1999
• Publisher: Tarcherperigee
• Length: 320 Pages
• Weight: 1.05 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.8" x 5.7" x 9.3"
• Age Range: 18 years and up
• Grade Range: Postsecondary and higher

Customer Reviews

A practical book substantiated through scientific research

One of the best features of this book is the fact that Michael Gurian. having lived in other cultures, researches his material through the scientific process aas well as by investigating other cultures in how they relate to boys. In so doing Gurian discovers some common elements and some differences. Some of these differences are surprising and offer our own culture something to thnink about. It is hard to focus on what is good about this book because one would have to summarize all its chapters. Perhaps a strong element of "A Fine Young Man" is the structure of those chapters. Guriam presents the thesis of the chapter. He presents cross-cultural references, scientific reseach and personal histories. He then offers some practical "how-to's". For those of us who work with boys, especially adolescents, this practical aspect is quite important. While Gurian's style makes this "easy" reading, one finds oneself pausing numerous times and talking to oneself about what one has just read. Gurian inspires the reader to bring "his" own life to the process. I thought this book would be a releif from the spiritual and theological reading I have been doing. Yet I found myself reflecting frequently on Gurian's insights, the implications of the research he discovered and the stories he presents. I found myself journaling about these times.This book has solid practical value, but it also has a deep spiritual challenge to those of us to want to help our young men grow into healthy and faithful adults.

A Fine Young Man is a treasure

As a single mom this was a hard book for me to read. I had no problem finding mentors for my daughter - there were always other mothers & teachers. Finding mentors for my son was problematic. At least I did recognize he needed male role models & decent ones at that. In A Fine Young Man, Michael Gurian gives us a swift, fluent & readily digestible version of the Adolescent Male 101. For those of us in the body female - this is fascinating, validating & enlightening. For those of us in the body male I expect it's all of that with the added feature of being familiar! I sure hope so! A must for anyone raising sons or mentoring our young men...

For everyone!

Why are we raising generations of disaffected, dysfunctional & dissed young men? Why does it seem that our boys no longer have direction to their lives. Why on earth are they so enraged, rudderless & obsessed? In A Fine Young Man you will see the tragic trail leading to wounded boys, abandoned by mentors & guides. Both boys & girls needs community heroes, direction & instruction & public school simply does not nor cannot take the place of adult male elders. This book is an eye opener, a swift & fluent introduction to the Adolescent Male 101 & takes us through the quests & stages all young males pass through, guided or not. Fascinating, hair-raising & eminently readable. A must for anyone raising boys or wondering about our lost, damaged youth.

Definitely worth the time

At a conference for educators, I atttended Gurian's presentation. I had never heard of him, but thought he was one of the most sane and compassionate voices among the many addressing these issues. Having subsequently read all his books except the new one, A Good Son, I found A Fine Young Man to be the most helpful and most interestingly written. I've recommended it and given it as a gift quite a few times. His position is not anti-feminist; it is pro-boy, which is quite different. Until we can make this distinction as educators and as parents we will continue to put our young men and our society at risk.

This is an amazing book.

This excellent book is written by the author of The Wonder of Boys, a book which has helped me as I raise my sons. I found Fine Young Man to be even better, though, because the ideas are even more fleshed out into real, practical solutions and suggestions. Not content to just blame everything on "nurture", Gurian seems to suggest that "nature" plays a key role, perhaps a larger role than many people would care to admit. He outlines how rough the road is for boys growing up in today's world, and how we as parents and mentors can help our sons become strong, sane, and well-balanced. I particularly liked his description of the three stages of male adolescence, which somehow rang extremely true. And his assertion that male role models are essential is right on the money. His book is a cut above others, because he is able to inspire and encourage with real ideas, not just theory or blame. If I had one criticism, it would be that I wished he had inc! luded a few more resources at the end. But that's small criticism for an extremely fine book.